house arrest wouldn’t even be a punishment for me
if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards
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Jack Rabbits are North American Hares and they’re the WORST to encounter at night becuase:
- You all know how big a rabbit is. Jack Rabbits and hares are much bigger. they’re the size of large cats or small dogs or just-walking-age children.
- They also like to hang out in gangs of a hlf dozen to over 30.
- and in the middle of backcountry dirt roads.
- perhaps they’re dustbathing
- or blood sacrifce
- I don’t know because when you come up the road at night because your dog has a tiny bladder and needs to go out at midnight and you have no yard so you’re walking him on the dirt road around your neighborhod because you might aw well get some stargazing in, and you come just over the ridge to see a coven of twenty jackrabbits in the middle of the road
- and
- they
- all
- stand
- up
- not just onto all fours like a proper prey animal
- No they get up on thier hind legs and don’t just sit but STAND like tiny rabbit-skinned toddlers, wobbing slightly as they stare directly at you eyes shining in your flashlight’s glow
- …Blood Red.
- And a chill goes through you on that warm july night because while they’re a puntable size and allegedly herbivores they’re standing and watching you just like people and you are vastly outnumbered.
- everyone freezes
- you’re considering your odds aganst roughly 200lbs of Suspiciously Humanoid Hare
- and they’re considering their odds against you
- the only sound in the never-ending high desert wind
- somewhere in your peripheral vision you can see the streetlights but they seem awfully far away
- The nearest Jack Rabbit
- Blinks
- and takes a single shuffling step
- forward
- You area an overdevloped monkey and your prefrontal cortex is capable of some amazing feats but it runs very slowly compared to the reflexes of a rabbit and you’re frozen as you desperately scramble for the appropriate course of action, hands feeling thick and useless, mouth dry and feet imeasurably heavy there’s no way you’d outrun THESE, god there’s a rabies outbreak going around that shit’s not curable-
- The Dog
- L U N G E S
- It’s only the briefest of movements but the animal you’d picked out for his gangly legs and floppy ears and goofy smile is suddenly a dark shape of muscle and teeth and had flung himself at the horrible goblin rabbits faster than mere physics should dictate, appearing in the circle of the flashlight for only the briefest of moments before the jolt from the leash makes you stumble and the light falters
- The Jack Rabbits
- Scatter
- Vanishing into the faintly starlit sagebrush in as so many faint gray shapes that might be mistaken for the dustclouds they kick up
- Later, you sit on the couch disquieted
- and you wonder
- If the sight of the Jack Rabbits standing and studying you was frightening enough to make you yearn for the safety of the yellowed streetlights
- what must it be like from thier end?
- what terrifying creature
- deliberately ties itself
- to something so horrible
- As a Dog?
true
this isn’t a joke
Reminder that someone programed pokemon red into minecraft using redstone and it was completely playable
mood: bedridden victorian child
papah …… am i going to die ?
pâpâ…………i’m colde ….
will grándmama be there? in the light??
That moment Donald Duck became the most powerful Black Mage in all of Final Fantasy lore.
To put in perspective how absolutely insane this is
Can’t see shit, captain. Even when I open in a new tab.
Here’s a copy and paste:
“For those unaware, let me show you how fucking retardedly universe-breakingly strong Donald is.
Flare is a spell type from final fantasy that is reserved for only the strongest individuals. Top level party members, top level enemies, main bosses, and secret bosses are the main users of this spell type. It’s so powerful that it’s been simply referred to as the “Nuke” spell before.
There are multiple tiers of Flare:
Megaflare: used by summons and top level enemies. Mostly known to be used by Bahamut, the strongest summon in the entire Final Fantasy franchise. Although this is it’s basic form
Above that you have Gigaflare: A stronger version of Mega flare. Mostly used by stronger versions of Bahamut, and inter-dimensional demons and secret bosses.
Above that you have Teraflare: this move is exclusive to the abso-fucking-lute most powerful versions of Bahamut. Like, you need to be the strongest motherfucker in the final fantasy multiverse to use this. This is universe erasing shit here
Above that you have Zettaflare: It is one quadrillion times (yes this is canon) more powerful then Megaflare, and it is a move that only Donald Duck has been able to do in all of Square Enix history.”
I’d also like to point out that Donald has used Flare several times before, its one of his most common magic moves when doing a combo with Sora, Albiet he uses them with a goofy, cartoonish firework effect.
I should mention that Donald gets knocked out/dies after this, either from the strain of using the spell or from the heartless that swarm right after, but even if it’s cast from hitpoints, Donald literally just busted out the most powerful magic move in Square history.
The only other character in Square enix games who used Zettaflare was the third form of Airy in Bravely Default, who at that point had a world eating eldritch abomination powering her. Donald didn’t have any of that backing him up, he literally cast Zettaflare on his own.
Donald fucking duck is canonically the most powerful red mage in square enix history PERIOD.
Also here’s a bonus for ya; right before setting it off Goofy yelled “DONALD, DON’T!” implying that either he’s been apprised of how dangerous zettaflare is for donald to use, OR DONALD HAS DONE IT BEFORE.
Don’t fuck with the duck.
* Despite everything…
• …
• You continue
• to be
• yourself.
a commission of some concerning kids done by @helloemptyset~ thank you!
Anonymous asked:
I kinda want to see the twins draw portraits of eachother
lucasandclaus100years answered:
